The Sandbag Times Sandbag Times News Update 16 Jan 2019

The Daily Fox

There was a reason Hilda Ffinch was never short of village gossip, it was called 'Free Gin'...
The Daily Fox...

"More tea, vicar?" asked Agapanthus, attempting to defuse the situation when the vicar accidentally invented hot cross pancakes...
The One About The Growling Pussy...

Dear Ms Ffinch,I urgently need advice on account of my growling pussy whilst at the public air raid shelter... Some might say it inappropriate, but I ensure my pussy is trimmed and hygienic and absent of fleas.Problem is, my pussy doesn’t seem to like men which seems to cause a dreadful stir among those at the shelter.What can I do?Yours...
The One About Palm Sunday...

My dearest Miss Ffinch,I do consider myself both well travelled and well educated, but I recently came across an expression which has me perplexed.My 15 year old son was out late one evening and on looking through the village for him, I espied him running from the bus shelter where the local youth tend to congregate. I heard one of...
Sandy Balls at the Seaside...

Dear Mrs Ffinch,Bit concerned about the annual holiday. Usually go to Cleethorpes but the beach is jam packed with crocodile teeth. No chance of getting anything up, deckchair’s out of the question, never mind the rest of my paraphernalia to impress the ladies.Aberystwyth any better?Yours faithfullyMr Sandy BallsDear Mr Balls,I do so hope that you mean ‘Dragon’s Teeth’ my dear...
"Might I Borrow Your Dick?"

Dear HildaI was wondering if you would take it upon yourself to manage your Dick? With most of the men in the village being away fighting Jerry it is left to us women to tend our own patches and it’s all well and good being asked to dig for victory, but I for one struggle with a dibber. Now I...

Sandbag Times News Update 16 Jan 2019

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